Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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