OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My ass is underappreciated
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
