Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
