There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
