I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
