Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize