You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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