dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
