I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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