things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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