I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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