So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
