im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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