i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
