Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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