I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
