Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize