so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize