SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
