I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
