you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
