Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
