i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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