is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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