I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
