do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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