Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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