Porn is love you can see.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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