Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
either way he was missing a nipple.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
