It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize