All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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