i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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