I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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