Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
