After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
