But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
