He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm gonna fight the coyote
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
