She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
