So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
