I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
