this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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