All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just gift wrapped bread.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
