it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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