I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
