fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
