I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize