my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
