My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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