You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
you made out with another girl for some wings
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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