So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
