Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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