so explain again why im purple
no
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
