She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
