Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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