so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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