I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
