How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
