Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
